In my high school, one of the classes had students do a "blind walk," where kids pair up and one wears a blindfold and the other serves as a guide. Each pair is given a list of tasks and direction, and the blindfolded student must rely on the guide to lead him through all the steps in the exercise. It's meant to teach leadership and trust, as well as to sensitize students to what it's like to experience a disability.

In today's Gospel reading, a blind man pleads for Jesus to heal him. "Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus, sat by the roadside begging. On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, 'Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.'"

After crying out several times, Jesus summons Bartimaeus, who is overjoyed: "He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus."

What has always intrigued me about this story is how a blind man rushes to find Jesus. Though Jesus later heals Bartimaeus and restores his sight, at this point, Bartimaeus is still blind. I'm not sure just how he looked for Jesus, or how long it took to locate him. I picture Bartimaeus stumbling around, arms in front of him to protect himself from harm, in his search. This is no exercise in trust or sensitivity, and he didn't have a guide to help him.

This may, in fact, be an accurate picture of how we all attempt to find God in our lives. We hear a voice, or have an experience that promises hope and healing, and we run for it. But we may not know exactly where we are going, and often make some wrong and dangerous turns in our pursuit.

I wish it were easier to follow Jesus. I wish it were always obvious what direction to take in my life - how to respond to the people and situations before me. Unfortunately, as much as I like to think I'm headed in the right direction, often I'm not. I make mistakes. I get lost. I stumble around just like I picture Bartimaeus stumbling around. I know Jesus can help me but sometimes it seems awfully hard to find him.

"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asks. "Master," Bartimaeus responds, "I want to see." This is one of the more moving exchanges in the Gospels, with Jesus asking the ultimate question of a servant, and Bartimaeus responding with heartbreaking honesty. "Go your way," Jesus answers. "Your faith has saved you."

Bartimaeus' quest for healing is seen by Jesus as faith. This is the wonderful news contained in this passage. If Bartimaeus is a portrait of faith - running toward Jesus without the benefit of sight or guidance - then there is hope for all of us who find ourselves stumbling toward Jesus in our own darkness. And if we can articulate what we want Jesus do for us, he stands ready to respond.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa. He may be reached at bptidings@yahoo.com.