When I went away to college, I was a little overwhelmed. I'd never ventured far from the small town where I grew up. The campus was vast and crowded, and the students came from very different backgrounds than me.
Many seemed to already grasp the subject we were studying while I sat in class, perplexed. Some had attended boarding school before college, and were already quite accustomed to living away from home. I was not. I struggled to adjust socially, academically and spiritually. I drifted into behavior and experiences that were unhealthy, if not destructive.
Looking back, I wish I'd had more guidance. I felt very alone and, left to my own devices, made some poor choices. I'm not sure any of the other students felt this way --- most seemed very confident and sure of themselves. There were probably a number of resources available for aimless students such as myself, but I didn't have the wherewithal to seek them out.
In today's Gospel reading Jesus tells his followers "I am the good shepherd. A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." A shepherd guides and protects his flock --- guides them to food, water and shelter and protects them from injury and attack. I could have used a shepherd when I went to college --- someone to guide me to nourishment and to protect me from internal and external dangers.
I could still use a shepherd. While I have matured in my decision-making since my student days, the risks and challenges before me seem far more daunting at this point in my life. Balancing work, family and friendships, making decisions that are healthy rather than destructive, have remained a challenge throughout my life.
Fortunately, I have come a long way in my awareness of God in my life, and in my ability to seek God's will through Scripture, prayer and reflection. I'm not quite so helpless when I feel lost, and I am more inclined to look for help, from humans and from God, when I need it. When I focus on following the Good Shepherd, my life is usually much better. My circumstances may not improve, but I feel safer and more secure.
Sheep, apparently, don't fare very well when left alone. They wander into dangerous situations, and aren't very good at finding the food and water that they need. Humans, perhaps, are not much different. We may be good at finding food and protecting ourselves from physical danger but we struggle to stay on a meaningful spiritual path. We need the Good Shepherd to guide us to what we need.
These days, we need guidance more than ever. There is so much information coming to us each day, and a great deal of what is presented to us is frightening and confusing. The good news of the Gospel is that we have a shepherd who loves us to the point of laying down his life for us. He is there for us when we feel alone, helpless or lost. We would be well served to stay close to him, to listen to and to follow his voice. Bill Peatman writes from Napa. He may be reached at bptidings@yahoo.com.
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