It is increasingly clear to me that living with joy is a choice. Experiencing joy is not the result of outside circumstances. It does not occur out of thin air. It is a response to internal attitudes. Joy is an emotion that is in short order these days and we do not have to look far to understand why. Few among us are not touched by unemployment, home foreclosure or some sort of financial downturn. Our living patterns are challenged as we adjust to circumstances that offer far less security.

It is easy to give into doom and gloom. It is easy to lose sleep worrying about our children, their choices, their friends, their futures. A quick read of the newspaper's front page or 20 minutes of TV news, and hoping in the future feels futile. We all know someone struggling with serious health issues. The list goes on. Dwelling on the negative too long can expel joy right out of our lives.

Not long ago I was in a particularly worrisome period. The concerns were real but not unmanageable, yet I gave into my anxiety. Then, after a couple of weeks of fretting, one morning I simply made a conscious effort to adjust my attitude.

Late in the afternoon I was returning to my car after shopping the local Trader Joe's, when I was embraced with a feeling of well being. It is difficult to fully explain except to say that it was a physical reaction as well as the awareness that life, full of difficulties and challenges, was a gift.

The moment passed quickly, simple but intense, and it remains with me as a touchstone moment to return to when living gets confusing or difficult. I believe it was a moment of grace meant to open my heart as well as my mind.

Life is complicated, as a friend recently reminded me. We lose jobs, our salaries are cut, our children disappoint us, our spouses do not meet all of our needs, the basement floods. It is how we handle these incidents that make a difference.

To abandon joy in the midst of life's difficulties is not out of the ordinary. However, to make the choice to welcome joy, to look for it, to embrace it, changes the dynamic of everyday living.

Joy is different from happiness, contentment, optimism or satisfaction. It is not cheerfulness. Joy is the realization that life itself is a precious gift. As Christians, we believe that God is the ultimate joy. Along the way as we go about our business, keeping God in mind and looking for the goodness of God in all we encounter goes a long way in allowing us to focus on important things. It helps us overlook the worn carpet, the cracked patio and refocuses our attention to relationships and beauty around us.

Anne Lamott, author of a number of remarkable books on faith (the most recent: "Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith"), says, "Joy is the best makeup." Of course it is. When we experience joy, it radiates from the inside out, on our face, in our gestures. Think of people who are in love.

The same can be said of little children who wake up expecting the best of each day. They get excited about ants on the sidewalk and colored leaves on trees. They appreciate the splendor of creation far more than most adults.

Living with joy does not dismiss the realities of life. But it helps calm a churning mind and brings an appreciation of things that might otherwise go unnoticed. Making the conscious decision to live with joy is also the decision to live anticipating grace.

Anne Hansen is a member of the Camarillo Catholic community. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.