Their 13 years of marriage had been difficult for Ricardo and Ayde Avalos, until they resumed attending church six months ago. Several homilies later, Ricardo acknowledged that it was time for him to realign his priorities, or else his family would fall apart.

Maria Haro had threatened to divorce her husband of 38 years, Luis Alfredo Haro. The lack of communication between both was withering their marriage, and his apathy toward church added more tension to the relationship.

The Haros and the Avalos had been married in civil ceremonies many years ago and were satisfied with that, never considering the sacrament of marriage as an option. Then they started hearing from the pulpit about the importance of living a married life in communion with God.

It made a difference.

On Valentine's Day, the Avalos, the Haros and 19 other couples exchanged wedding vows at St. Aloysius Gonzaga Church in southeast Los Angeles, at a special Mass in Spanish with the parish's administrator, Father Ramon Palomera, presiding.

It was Father Palomera who, shortly after assuming his position in mid-2007, learned that many of the parishioners either had only celebrated civil weddings or were not married at all, while their children were attending catechism classes. Some of their adult children had even received the sacrament of marriage.

In his previous role as an associate pastor at St. Teresa of Avila Church in Silverlake, Father Palomera had seen parish attendance increase after the celebration of a communal wedding of 10 couples. So he decided to try it at St. Aloysius, a predominantly Spanish-speaking parish near Firestone and Alameda southwest of Huntington Park.

"I want to build this community up," he told The Tidings. "I care for families, and I want them to understand the importance of the sacrament of marriage; I do not want them to take it lightly."

Strong response
When he extended the invitation from the pulpit in August 2008, he thought less than five couples would sign up. It was a great surprise to see that 24 couples had responded. (Three couples eventually withdrew to hold separate weddings.)

Father Palomera assisted those who had "paperwork challenges" and those who could not afford the necessary fees. A week before the wedding, all couples attended a three-day marriage retreat that changed their view of married life.

"My priorities have changed," said Ricardo Avalos, a 32-year-old Marine, who married his high school sweetheart Ayde in a civil ceremony when he was 19 and she was 16 (and pregnant with the first of their three children). "They are now set around my family, whereas before my friends were more important," he said.

The Avalos had stopped attending church, but after Father Palomera arrived they returned and have never looked back.

"I like how Father Palomera speaks; he's down to earth, which has motivated me to go to church," Ricardo said.

The Avalos' children also added some pressure to their parents. They are attending catechism classes in preparation for their first communion, and they started asking difficult questions, including why their parents had not received the sacrament of marriage.

Their decision also brought new hope to the Haros, whose two adult children were surprised when their parents told them they had plans to tie the knot.

"This symbolizes hope. It's the light at the end of the tunnel," said daughter Reyna Haro, 42, a social worker who believes that while her parents love each other dearly, they lacked communication skills. "They make a big deal of simple things," she said.

Her mother Maria agrees, saying she learned a lot about communication at the three-day retreat. "I also need to help others and get closer to God," she said.

'Why not?'
The ceremony's timing was perfect for Jesus and Janet Linares. They had been civilly married 10 years ago on Valentine's Day, which is also Janet's birthday. But Janet, then 19, was in a very different place.

Her parents divorced when she was 10, wounding her emotionally. When she married Jesus, she initially viewed it as a way to escape from home. She kept putting off a church wedding because she did not want her husband to feel an obligation toward her just because they had children.

But her love for him grew stronger and vice versa. And their two daughters, who attend the parish school, had also started questioning their relationship.

When Father Palomera made the announcement last summer, it made sense. "Why not?" Jesus told Janet. "This is the way it's supposed to be."

The whole community got involved in the celebration. Donations included church decorations, music by a mariachi band, a video of the ceremony for each couple, and even a cake for all of them.

As the couples left the church, they were surprised by a ceremonial guard of Marines crossing swords. Most of them had invited family and friends to share their joy at individual receptions.

"I just want them to feel that we care for them," Father Palomera said, "and that they understand that marriage is a covenant to love and appreciate each other and their children forever."