home pageNews Viewpoints Spirituality Liturgy Entertainment Calendar Sports
Google
at google.com
at the-tidings.com
THIS WEEK'S
HIGHLIGHTS
News
CHA backs health bill; bishops reiterate objection to abortion wording
USCCB: Cost too high, loss too great for health care bill not to be revised
Celebrating 'Tavola di San Giuseppe'
In Rancho Palos Verdes: 'New and exciting times'
bullet Lent: A time to give and grow
Vatican defends efforts by pope to curb clergy sex abuse
Obituaries
'I feel as though I have met him also'
bullet Catholic Church in U.S. among religious bodies gaining members

Viewpoints
bullet The imperative for ecumenism
bullet Advice for Europe - and for us
bullet Sr. Sandra Schneiders on religious life
Liturgy
bullet 'Who believes in me will never die'
Spirituality
"The Church, Too, Wears Many Colors"
bullet 'Gran Torino': A story of redemption
shim
Entertainment
bullet Movies Reviews
Sports
CYO promotes PLC 'sports as ministry' program

 

 

 


Friday, June 13, 2008
The vocation of marriage: It's holy,
but no fairy tale

By THERESE BORCHARD
text only version

It's that season of the year when the bridal magazines weigh more than the brides themselves, and 4-year-olds like my daughter flip through the pages as they dream of their own Cinderella wedding.

Ironically, as a young girl I never dreamed of a Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet as he professed his undying love for me. I pictured myself more like Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music," except that I wanted to stay in the convent and preferred to keep a safe distance from a bunch of singing kids.

One of my first conversations with my future husband, Eric, went like this:


The vocation of marriage is anything but boring. And it is sacred. We are just as holy as the folks who have professed vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.


Eric: "What do you see yourself doing in, like, five years?"

Me: "Feeding a bunch of hungry kids in a Third World country as a missionary. I want to join the convent."

Eric: "Oh. That's interesting."

Why he asked me out after that still baffles me. All I can think of is that maybe he knew more about the vocation of marriage in his 20s than I did.

I mistakenly thought that in order to do good in this world one needed to join the religious orders. I categorized "marriage" in that secular place that everything average and dull and normal went, the classification of people who had no "real vocation."

Now, having been married 12 years, I take back my black-and-white thinking regarding married life (and practically everything else) of my goody-two-shoes days.

The vocation of marriage is anything but boring. And it is sacred. We are just as holy as the folks who have professed vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. In fact, "poverty, chastity and obedience" is a fitting description of marriage some days!

In his 1987 pastoral visit to the United States, Pope John Paul II said, "The bond that unites a family is not only a matter of natural kinship or a shared life and experience. It is essentially a holy and religious bond. Marriage and the family are sacred realities."

Most of my married friends appreciate the truth of these words after they've been through a family crisis: when a family member is sick or dies, or something else substantial happens.

In my life that happened three years ago when I became very ill and stayed ill for close to two years. The stress in our household challenged our vows more so than at any other time. And I realized why the promises we exchanged on our wedding day were so holy: Only God can keep together two people torn in several different directions and so easily distracted.

A friend of mine once told me that a marriage is like a braid of three strings. God is the third string, and without his presence in a marriage, the other two strings can easily split.

That's no fairy tale, unfortunately. It's not as easy as Prince Charming showing up on his valiant steed. There is no "happily ever after" without lots of work and even more prayer.

And yet, when a couple involves God and stays committed to their nuptial vows, the vocation of marriage becomes very sacred indeed.

Therese J. Borchard is a columnist with Catholic News Service.



copyright The Tidings Corporation ©2004
Contact us at: info@the-tidings.com




give us your comments




past issues